People who can keep their cool, even in catastrophic events, are very attractive. Not only to the opposite sex, but in general, they are seen as in control of themselves. Usually, if you can keep yourself cool, you can easily make logical decisions and take control of situations before things get out of hand. Or you can make an informed decision to keep yourself out of a situation that might end badly. What I am getting at here is that you need to always keep your cool, no matter what. I’ll start off with a few examples.
If a fight breaks out, you are not to jump in instinctively. Keep your cool and wait it out. I know breaking it up might seem like the rational action, but in many cases, it is not. Getting involved in fights can often lead to a lot of unnecessary drama, and we want to avoid drama at all costs. This goes for starting fights too. If someone is giving you the idea that they are ready to start a fight with you, keep your cool and let it go.
Something spills or breaks in your house or car or whatever? You have to just realize that what’s done is what’s done and there is nothing really to be done about it now. If you lose your cool you will just end up with this mess or broken thing and looking like an ass at the same time. It takes a big man to just say “Hey, don’t even worry about it, I wanted an excuse to get rid of that, it looked like shit anyway” after someone breaks your crystal vase instead of picking up the largest piece and bludgeoning them to a bloody corpse with it (not that the thought won’t cross your mind). Something like this will happen to you, and it’s bound to be someone you don’t even really care for in the first place. But, just try to keep it cool.
Someone insults you? Don’t insult back. If you attack back you will be involved in a childlike war of the words that will have you looking very immature.
You’ve insulted someone? Whether by accident or not, you should try not to insult. Snide remarks can be made from time to time when someone needs to be put in place, but that is only after the line has been crossed. So, assuming that you aren’t going to insult someone who hasn’t crossed that line, my suggestion would be apologize for your mistake. If you make a sincere apology immediately after being aware they are offended, they will rarely not forgive you. If they do not forgive you, have a friend talk casually about you with them and have the friend also express your regret. If that doesn’t work, fuck em’, just kidding, but seriously, there is not too much more you can do here but to continue being nice to them (even if they insult you) and wait for them to come around.
Running late? There is absolutely no sense in getting all riled up about this, I never understood this. The only thing that getting pissed off about it will do is make you very unhappy, and in turn, less friendly and approachable when you reach your destination. You’ll get there when you get there, be more careful with time next time if you can.
Someone is annoying you? This can be as small as someone tapping to someone following you around all night. If possible, the best choice is to ignore, literally. The tapping won’t kill you, and if you don’t want that person following you, she will get the idea soon enough (don’t do this in a rude way; we never want to be rude).
Doing something you don’t want to do? Obviously try not to put yourself in situations that you don’t want to be in, but we know this happens from time to time. My suggestion is to put that smile on and suck it up. You want to appear happy as much as possible, people like to be around happy people. Learn to just go with the flow and love life no matter what is going on and you’ll be good. Or you could just get completely smashed before you go (if you are a good drinker and can hide the fact, if not, practice makes perfect), either way. Just kidding… I don’t condone alcohol abuse.
Uninvited guests? There are really different types of uninvited guests. On one hand, you have the friends that come, but don’t really fit in with the crowd you have invited. These guests should be welcomed and made feel comfortable. Introduce them around and stick with them, they are most likely feeling awkward and will greatly appreciate your kindness. Once they see the crowd is much different than them, they will probably leave on their own. On the other hand, we have guests that you personally do not like. If possible, they should be allowed to stay. If you foresee a conflict with these guests and other guests then my suggestion would be to have a good friend (preferably one that they do not know and having larger than average biceps help too). Be sure to not let information leak if you are trying to have a private get together. If you are inviting larger numbers of people, inform them of the guest list in hopes that they will not spread the word outside of invited guests.
Friends in argument? Try not to take a side if you can. Try to actually leave the area of argument so you don’t get sucked in. As I said before, this type of behavior can look childish from a third party.
Drama? Steer clear, my friend! Don’t give in to the temptation of needing to know everyone’s business. In fact, make a conscience effort not to know! Obviously, you would like to hear about larger things such as illnesses, pregnancies, ect. so they can be brought up or avoided as seen fit. While receiving news of pregnancies you should always express joy of new life, even if the mother is young. Try not to take part in the making opinions of others unless the opinion is positive. If you follow that rule, it will get you far. If you are in a business situation that you need to get someone out of the current position they are in then something along the lines of “this job does not match their skill set” is in order. Remember, everyone has a skill set and can be extremely useful. The hard part is having the eye to spot what people will be good at and allocating them there.
In general. Just don’t lose your cool dammit! Keep your voice at a speaking level and roll with the punches. Keeping your cool will not only make you more attractive and professional, it will help you to make more logical decisions in times of need. I hope you can take the examples above and get the idea of what I am getting at here so you can define it for your purposes and incorporate it into your life. Let me know if you have any questions, comments or concerns. As always, have fun!
